...I was reminded of why I do all the things I do.
Jodaiko, I love you. Staff, I love you. Spoppers, I love you more than you can imagine.
Thanks for reminding me why I'm passionate. I owe you all one.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Sometimes I miss high school...
I'll save the rant about how I hate coming home for later.
Anyway, I was facebook creeping just now, and came across a picture of some of my friends and our AP Literature teacher from our last day of school. My teacher, Mr. Brian Perry, wrote the following comment (I took the liberty of fixing some of the grammar; I believe the post was purposefully written with grammar and spelling errors because of some of the previous posts):
"Thanks for posting the picture--I miss you guys. I just got back from this year's graduation. They're a great class, but I kept thinking of memories from yours. There'll never be another '08."
Mr. Perry was a very influential teacher for me in high school. He was the first teacher I ever had in high school (coincidentally, I was in his first class ever; it was his first year teaching, both in general, and at my high school). I had him again sophomore year for creative writing, and again my senior year for AP literature. But he was more than a teacher for me, as many of the teachers I had in high school were.
But he pushed me to do my best harder than a lot of my other teachers, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Heck. He even wrote me a letter of recommendation for the Buck Scholarship (which, for those of you who don't know, is a full-ride scholarship that pays for the rest of your schooling...like...forever, and I was one of 33 finalists).
But reading that comment made me realize how great a graduating class I had, and how much the teachers respected us. This isn't meant to be a diss toward other classes (except maybe CKM's class of '07 and '09....douchebags), but I really think my graduating class had a certain personality and likability about them that everyone noticed.
So yeah, CKM Class of 2008. Our time at McClatchy may be long over, but we certainly left a lasting impression, and I believe we will do so in the future.
I know I suck at keeping in contact, but I really do miss you....most of you.
Anyway, I was facebook creeping just now, and came across a picture of some of my friends and our AP Literature teacher from our last day of school. My teacher, Mr. Brian Perry, wrote the following comment (I took the liberty of fixing some of the grammar; I believe the post was purposefully written with grammar and spelling errors because of some of the previous posts):
"Thanks for posting the picture--I miss you guys. I just got back from this year's graduation. They're a great class, but I kept thinking of memories from yours. There'll never be another '08."
Mr. Perry was a very influential teacher for me in high school. He was the first teacher I ever had in high school (coincidentally, I was in his first class ever; it was his first year teaching, both in general, and at my high school). I had him again sophomore year for creative writing, and again my senior year for AP literature. But he was more than a teacher for me, as many of the teachers I had in high school were.
But he pushed me to do my best harder than a lot of my other teachers, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Heck. He even wrote me a letter of recommendation for the Buck Scholarship (which, for those of you who don't know, is a full-ride scholarship that pays for the rest of your schooling...like...forever, and I was one of 33 finalists).
But reading that comment made me realize how great a graduating class I had, and how much the teachers respected us. This isn't meant to be a diss toward other classes (except maybe CKM's class of '07 and '09....douchebags), but I really think my graduating class had a certain personality and likability about them that everyone noticed.
So yeah, CKM Class of 2008. Our time at McClatchy may be long over, but we certainly left a lasting impression, and I believe we will do so in the future.
I know I suck at keeping in contact, but I really do miss you....most of you.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Oh...now I get it
Maybe that's why I can't get any work done on my song. My mind is too clouded by my thoughts about home and SPOP and life in general.
There's been a lot on my mind, lately
I apologize if I have seemed distant the past few days. I've been thinking a lot, and not necessarily about any one thing. My mind's been all over the place.
The past few days, I've found myself staying up until 5, 6, or even 7 in the morning. I know I'm a night owl, but I usually call it quits by around 2 or 3. Perhaps it's just the nature of summer, or perhaps my mind has been in overdrive. It sure feels like the latter.
There are several things I've been wanting to blog about, but I keep putting it off. Mostly because I think I don't want to make that post about how wonderful of a blessing this summer has been, even though it will be good for me. For now, I'll just make do with something I just realized.
I was reading Drew's blog and I enjoyed his most recent post. He talked about how he's spent his entire summer in Irvine, as I have, and now he's home for a week. I too will be going home for a week. But unlike Drew, I don't think I'll be able to pick up where things left off.
I've come to the realization that I am slowly growing farther and farther apart from my home. My REAL home....or at least, my first home. I've lived in Sacramento my whole life, and when I was choosing between schools, one of my main reasons for choosing UCI over Cal was distance. I needed to get out and experience life away from home; not life away from home during the week.
Ultimately, I think the 400+ miles in between me and my first home has been good for me. I've learned to be (somewhat) self-sufficient and I feel like I've grown up a lot. Sometimes I'll just think at how much I've matured in my one year at college so far. I feel like I'm at least five years older now than I was when I left for college.
It's weird. When I was little, I was the kid who knew that he would move back to Sacramento after college. Maybe I wouldn't move back in with my parents, but I know I would settle in Sacramento. My kids would go to all the same schools I went to. My kids would know the life I knew growing up. They would play Little League and borrow books from Belle Coolidge Library and get summer treats from Vic's with their friends.
But when I go back to Sacramento, I feel awkward and out of place. I don't hang out with my old friends. I stay inside the house all day. My mom goes to work, and my dad sticks to his home office. And I just sit in the game room watching TV and browsing the net on my laptop. And on the off-chance that I do hang out with my old friends, I feel out of place. I'm no good at keeping in contact with them, and as a result, we've grown far apart. I feel like I don't know them anymore. I feel like they don't know me anymore.
I went to the same elementary school, the same middle school, and the same high school for my entire schooling life. I never transferred schools like other kids have. I've known the same people in my home town for most of my life. But now I feel like a foreigner. It's like I just transferred schools or something. They don't know what I've been doing at college. They weren't there when I tripped down the stairs in the dorms. They weren't there when I tried to do a high kick and landed flat on my back. They weren't there the time I accidentally hit a traffic cone. They weren't there when my car was written on during 8.5. They don't know what SPOP is. I have a completely different life at college, and they weren't there to experience it like they were in middle school and high school. It's weird. It's scary. I feel like I don't belong.
So I guess Irvine is my home now. I don't know if this is where I will stay when I'm done with college. I don't know where I'll go or what I'll do after college. I don't know if the people I call my close friends now will still be my close friends after college.
I just know that I'm different now. Sacramento hasn't changed. It's me that's changed. But it's okay, because I think this is where I'm supposed to be in life.
The past few days, I've found myself staying up until 5, 6, or even 7 in the morning. I know I'm a night owl, but I usually call it quits by around 2 or 3. Perhaps it's just the nature of summer, or perhaps my mind has been in overdrive. It sure feels like the latter.
There are several things I've been wanting to blog about, but I keep putting it off. Mostly because I think I don't want to make that post about how wonderful of a blessing this summer has been, even though it will be good for me. For now, I'll just make do with something I just realized.
I was reading Drew's blog and I enjoyed his most recent post. He talked about how he's spent his entire summer in Irvine, as I have, and now he's home for a week. I too will be going home for a week. But unlike Drew, I don't think I'll be able to pick up where things left off.
I've come to the realization that I am slowly growing farther and farther apart from my home. My REAL home....or at least, my first home. I've lived in Sacramento my whole life, and when I was choosing between schools, one of my main reasons for choosing UCI over Cal was distance. I needed to get out and experience life away from home; not life away from home during the week.
Ultimately, I think the 400+ miles in between me and my first home has been good for me. I've learned to be (somewhat) self-sufficient and I feel like I've grown up a lot. Sometimes I'll just think at how much I've matured in my one year at college so far. I feel like I'm at least five years older now than I was when I left for college.
It's weird. When I was little, I was the kid who knew that he would move back to Sacramento after college. Maybe I wouldn't move back in with my parents, but I know I would settle in Sacramento. My kids would go to all the same schools I went to. My kids would know the life I knew growing up. They would play Little League and borrow books from Belle Coolidge Library and get summer treats from Vic's with their friends.
But when I go back to Sacramento, I feel awkward and out of place. I don't hang out with my old friends. I stay inside the house all day. My mom goes to work, and my dad sticks to his home office. And I just sit in the game room watching TV and browsing the net on my laptop. And on the off-chance that I do hang out with my old friends, I feel out of place. I'm no good at keeping in contact with them, and as a result, we've grown far apart. I feel like I don't know them anymore. I feel like they don't know me anymore.
I went to the same elementary school, the same middle school, and the same high school for my entire schooling life. I never transferred schools like other kids have. I've known the same people in my home town for most of my life. But now I feel like a foreigner. It's like I just transferred schools or something. They don't know what I've been doing at college. They weren't there when I tripped down the stairs in the dorms. They weren't there when I tried to do a high kick and landed flat on my back. They weren't there the time I accidentally hit a traffic cone. They weren't there when my car was written on during 8.5. They don't know what SPOP is. I have a completely different life at college, and they weren't there to experience it like they were in middle school and high school. It's weird. It's scary. I feel like I don't belong.
So I guess Irvine is my home now. I don't know if this is where I will stay when I'm done with college. I don't know where I'll go or what I'll do after college. I don't know if the people I call my close friends now will still be my close friends after college.
I just know that I'm different now. Sacramento hasn't changed. It's me that's changed. But it's okay, because I think this is where I'm supposed to be in life.
Friday, September 4, 2009
It's like I'm trying to grab the air
But there's nothing to grab. Or...it's constantly eluding me. I promise I'll gather my thoughts soon and let you all know how much this summer meant to me. I PROMISE.
But for now, I'll continue to try to grab something out of thin air and write my damn AGTs...and my song.
But for now, I'll continue to try to grab something out of thin air and write my damn AGTs...and my song.
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